A Liberal Point of View to Life

Domestic Violence 

I wanted to write about Domestic Violence (DV) as a crime thats increasing its wings with each passing day, but then I thought, the roots are much deeper… And I would rather address an issue, which could be one of the prime causes!

Let us answer a couple of questions first.

  1. Do illiterate women suffer from DV? YES
  2. Do educated women suffer from DV? YES
  3. Do housewives suffer from DV? YES 
  4. Do working women suffer from DV? YES
  5. Do young women suffer from DV? YES
  6. Do ageing women suffer from DV? YES
  7. Do mothers suffer from DV? YES
  8. Do celebrities suffer from DV? YES

Answers to all the above questions are a resounding YES!

Was going through the case of Shweta Tiwari a couple of days ago. Being famous, beautiful, and the sole bread-earner of the family, did not stop her from being physically abused by her husband, whose sole claim to fame is that he is Shweta’s husband. The fact that she had been suffering this for almost 8 years now, speaks volumes!

Women may reach dreamy heights, explore the world, master the masses, but with-in the confines of their homes, they continue to be treated like slaves! They still enjoy the secondary status in their own homes. Now, we think that things are improving. But, actually they are as bad as ever.

Newspapers daily are rife with news of domestic violence. Very few come out in the open. Most of the women still are afraid of talking about it in the open. They continue to suffer behind closed doors. One possible reason could be the fact that they are afraid to face the reaction of the reaction of the society. So, they keep suffering silently. More than the physical hurt, it is a blow to the dignity and self-esteem that is the most unbearable!

However, it is pretty clear by now, that the social status of a woman has nothing to do with her being abused or not. Famous celebrities like Aishwarya Rai and Zeenat Aman were being physically abused, even by her son in the case of the latter. Even they had trouble accepting it in public, though its pretty widely known by now!

Now, I do not want to sound sexist here by saying that only women suffer from domestic violence… Men also do. Statistics suggest that in the United States, 20 percent of all violent crime experienced by women are cases of intimate partner violence, compared to 3 percent of violent crimes experienced by men. The ratio is going to be further skewed in India.

Now, where does this lead to!? Where does it end!? Will women ever get to live in their own houses, with a sense of security and dignity, with their heads held high!?

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Comments on: "Gender Equality – Is it a myth?" (2)

  1. I have to say from experience the fact is rarely taken into effect that not only are we afraid to leave because of how we will be seen or what will happen to us by those abusing us but many times it is because we see no way out. We see no way for us to really make it if we leave. For years my abusive ex told me that I would never have anything without him. he knew that my kids were my world and that their happiness was what mattered most and While he never abused them physically he played mind tricks with them to get me to stay.
    I was stupid and felt that at least that had things that if not for him I would likely never be able to give them so I stayed. well I did until he beat and left me for dead and when I left the hospital after 6 months I left the city and went to a shelter in another city to get away. The friend who had my kids brought them to me before I left and handed me 300.00 all she could spare.
    Looking back I have to admit he was right It is not like it was with him. I do not have many of the things I had while with him. My kids have never had another Merry Christmas However we do have a nice apartment and food and clothes and love and I make sure to give them anything I can. Most of all though we have love and peace of mind and no longer worry what may happen.
    I am extremely blessed with two kids who never ask for anything Not even on Birthdays or Christmas. They are not hung up on name brands and they are Happy.
    I look back now and think why did I not have the faith to leave and know I could do it back then and do not have a answer. I guess it took my finding my inner faith and strength. I was left disabled after my beating so things are always tight since I never really held a job as he would not let me work. If I had left I could have had a program help me go to school and help me get a job etc. It is too late for me. However I try to speak to others and let them know that they CAN make it on their own. There are programs and groups that will help them. I just wish this part of the fear would be addressed more so that woman out there with that same fear I had will not stay thinking there are no other options.

  2. @Bay: I am sorry to hear your story. Yet, I am glad you shared it here.

    I did a program for a US University about criminal analysis. There, they teach, the abusers have a cycle. It is common with abuse, both physical and mental, that victims are not able to get out of cycle. The criminal analyst said that police tried best but could not get statements from the victims. That too, in most obvious cases of domestic violence. Also, abusers they ask for forgiveness and then return to cruelty. The solution is to get away from the cycle ASAP.

    I understand what you thought. For a woman, kids are the world. But do not say, its too late for you. It is not. Easier said than done, I know. But you have been brave so far and you have two wonderful kids, nothing is late for you to do now.

    I am glad you want to reach out to other victims. That is commendable.

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